SUFI STORIES #3 A MOTHER’S FORGIVENESS AND BLESSINGS

Among the instructions I received from Pak Engku Karim (see Sufi Stories #2) was that I needed my Mother’s forgiveness and blessings before God’s Blessing, Grace and Mercy will descend upon me. Although my Mother had told me that she had forgiven me for everything that I had done or said that may have hurt her, Pak Engku Karim said the instructions he received was that my Mother had to do certain things for me to receive God’s favours .

My Mother was in our hometown (Kota Bharu, KB) at that time. She decided to go and ask her own spiritual adviser, Tok Guru Haji Zain (may Allah bless his soul), if all that was told by Pak Engku Karim was true. He lived in Pasir Puteh, a town not far from KB. To her surprise, not only did he confirm that those instructions were true, he also advised my Mother to rush to Kuala Lumpur (KL) and comply with those instructions immediately. So she took the late night flight to KL that very night! It was a one hour flight.

By the time she arrived at my house, it was past midnight. Pak Engku Karim was on hand to explain the instructions.

My Mother had to bathe me, and while doing so, she was to supplicate to God to cleanse me spiritually and make me as pure as a newborn. Once she started pouring the water over me, a strange feeling came over me. I felt the urge to recite Al-Fatihah (The Opening chapter of the Qur’an); to fast; and I started yearning for Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him).

After the bath, I led my Mother in a prayer of repentance, after which she again supplicated to God to forgive her son and open the doors of His Blessings and Guidance.

From then on, I became obsessed with reciting Al-Fatihah. I recited it all the time, throughout the day, while doing everything (except in the toilet!). I was even woken up at about 2-3am each morning to recite Al-Fatihah. This continued for many months. I must have recited it many thousand times.

I was also obsessed with fasting. I started fasting every day for a few months, until Pak Engku Karim told me that the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) taught us not to fast every day, except during Ramadhan (which is compulsory). Throughout the year, Muslims are encouraged to fast on Mondays and Thursdays, especially during the 4 sacred months of the Muslim calendar. And if I wanted to fast more than that, then I should fast on alternate days, like what Prophet Daud (King David, Peace be upon him) did.

So thereafter I fasted on alternate days, except that I forgot to eat or drink on those days that I was not fasting, as I was used to not eating or drinking during the day in the previous few months. So, I decided that I might as well fast since I was not eating or drinking anyway. My compromise was that I didn’t fast on weekends since there was more chance of eating out with family or friends. I continued in that way for another 6 months or so.

During this time of fasting and incessantly reciting Al-Fatihah, I was always yearning for the Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him). I was often teary-eyed because I missed him so much.

On the fortieth night (after the rituals with my Mother), after being woken up at 2am to recite Al-Fatihah and perform the Tahajjud prayer (a supererogatory prayer we do at about this period of the night/early morning), I had my first spiritual encounter with the Unseen.

[Because I live in Malaysia where the Islamic authorities are so strict in censuring spiritual stuff not familiar to them, I can only describe in general the nature of my experience so as not to invite trouble].

When I stood up to perform the Tahajjud prayer, I could not move my arms to do the prayer movements. Then my arms and body moved spontaneously! I was made to perform the prayer in a slow, disciplined manner. Even my recitations during the entire prayer became slow and disciplined. I was fully aware, but my movements and recitations were being guided.

When my arms moved spontaneously for the first time, I also felt a strange sensation in both arms, which remains until now (but the strength of this sensation waxes and wanes according to the circumstances – more about this in future articles).

After the Tahajjud prayer, I knew that I was not alone. I was guided on how to sit for the supplications and dzikr that would last for several hours until it was time to do the morning (Fajr or Subuh) prayers at about 530am.

The same happened when I stood up to pray again in the early morning. My prayer movements and recitations were guided, slow and disciplined.

Later in the morning, I called to inform Pak Engku Karim about what had happened. He explained to me that I had “visitors” and that I had been gifted with a healing gift.

I am a medical doctor, so I didn’t think much about the healing gift. I thought that it meant that I would become a better doctor. Only later did I know that it was something else.

Since this first encounter with the Unseen, I have had many more definitive experiences, mostly during the day time, often in the presence of my Sufi Shaykhs, and my wife. I will share whatever is safe to share, but before I tell more stories about these encounters, you need to read and understand this quote from Imam Al-Ghazali (May Allah’s Mercy be upon him):

“With this first stage of the (Sufi) ‘way’ there begins the revelations and visions. The mystics (Sufis) in their waking state now behold angels and the spirits of the prophets; they hear these speaking to them and are instructed by them. Later, a higher state is reached; instead of beholding forms and figures, they come to stages in the “way” which it is hard to describe in language; if a man attempts to express these, his words inevitably contain what is clearly erroneous”. [Al-Ghazali in Al Munqidh Min Al Dalal/Deliverance from Error, translated by W. Montgomery Watt].

Peace to all. See you at my next SUFI STORIES post!